Central Blurb

Self-Care Is Not Selfish, It’s Necessary

Are you among the “Sandwich Generation”? By that, I mean people who are both raising kids and also caring for an elderly parent.

If so, it’s likely that you’re experiencing a great deal of pressure from the many competing demands placed upon you frequently by your family – and that doesn’t even include the ones coming from your employment and your company.

Do you ever consider you’re always giving to the other members of your family, at your own expense. You’re constantly taking the kids to school and athletic activities, or taking your parents to doctors and other geriatric services, but you never seem to have any time to sit down, breathe, put your feet up, and play golf, watch tv, or simply take a nap.

In fact, even if you could find a few minutes in your day to do such things, chances are you wouldn’t do them anyway, because to do so would make you feel guilty – as if you were ignoring your duty and your responsiblity to your family.

I used to feel that way too – that I was the one who needed to surrender my time, energy and fun in order to take care of the family.

Then, one night I was watching the TV show, Baywatch – a show where one of the lifeguards had swum out underneath a dock in very heavy seas, with the surf slapping forcefully against the pilings of the dock. The rookie lifeguard came to the point where he realized that the surf were so strong that they were pushing him and his rescued swimmer toward a certain collision with one of those pilings.

His first thought was that he should put his body between the incapacitated swimmer and the pilings and let his body take the brunt of whatever impact might occur. But, then he understood that if he were to do that, he might be knoced out – or otherwise, seriously damaged. If that were to happen, the chances were very good that they would both die.

So, he quickly decided that if either of them had to get smashed against the piling, it would have to been the person he was rescuing. He needed to remain strong, and conscious, in order to ensure that they both made it to shore, and to safety.

I took a lesson from that episode, and have since applied it in my life in both personal and professional situations.

As strange as it may seem, when the caregiving situation is so critical, it is imperative that the caregiver remain healthy and strong. Not many of us are faced with the lifeguard’s decision about to allow to be banged around the pilings, but many of us are faced – regularly – with decisions about doing things for ourselves to rest, recuperate. and in general, to disentangle from the extreme pressures of the caregiver’s life.

I recommend that you take the time necessary for yourself to keep your immune system in good physical shape, to keep your viewpoint positive and your spirits carefree; otherwise, you will not be helping the people you care most about, but rather, you will begin to add to the problems that are already present.

The meaning of this story is that the one who is responsible to ensure the well-being of others must be a little bit selfish when it comes to ensuring his or her mental and physical health – and continuing ability to take care of the rest of the family.

So, be sure to take good care of yourself – and don’t feel guilty about it when you do.

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